Eggsplaining My Freshman Year in SHIFT
Anyone who knows me is aware that I love to talk. Like, probably too much. Many with a less than stellar opinion of me would probably refer to me as a chatterbox. However, when I moved into the freshman dorms this August, I stopped talking all that much. This is a timeline of how I got my voice back.
I really struggled my first semester of freshman year. The only social contact I had was virtually, with members of my sandbox. Every Sunday evening, I would go on a call with a gaggle of strangers, and try to force myself to speak. It was nice getting to know these strangers, but as the youngest, newest and most confused, I struggled to adjust to SHIFT and life at the University in general. I was aware that SHIFT creators worked on a project over the school year, so in an attempt to settle in, I decided to work on a series of paintings.
At least, I said I was going to work on a series of paintings. Paralyzed by fear, and overwhelmed by schoolwork, I struggled to find the motivation to do anything, let alone paint. Terrified, I spoke to many kind sandbox leaders, who were not worried about my lack of projects — they simply wanted me to take care of myself, and do something I enjoyed. Very grateful, I resolved to do nothing for the rest of first semester.
Over winter break, I started working on acrylic paintings of eggs while FaceTiming my friends. Inspired by this video, I was determined to improve my sketching and painting skills after a semester of no art classes. I decided to draw eggs, because, well, I like eggs. At first, I was overwhelmed with the prospect of starting, but it became easier to work while speaking to others; going on video calls with my friends was a way for me to overcome my initial anxiety. I told myself I could make my friends laugh by drawing odd eggs, and it worked. I started consistently painting eggs over winter break!
Eventually, I made about 10 or 11 egg pieces before I ended being overwhelmed by the work of second semester. Painting wasn’t social anymore — my friends and I were too weighed down by work to call. I decided to shelf the project until further notice.
The reason I was so busy was because of my commitments to the Michigan Daily. In January, enraged by my freshman experience, I decided to write columns about my time in the dorms. My experiences at the Michigan Daily and SHIFT are deeply intertwined; inspiration for many of my articles has come from the amazing, mind-boggling conversations I’ve had with SHIFT creators. To name just a couple: inspiration for the Zoom-Zone came from my conversation with Amar, and discussions with Jessie led to my article “I’m scared of Ann Arbor”. Speaking with people in SHIFT has led to ideas behind many articles of which I’m truly proud.
Then, in February, Amar had the great idea of starting a book club. After sufficient annoyance from me, Amar asked if I would like to lead the book club. So here we are! Bestie book club is in session. For February, we read “If Beale Street Could Talk”, by James Baldwin, and I prepared a Notion page, presentations, Kahoots, and discussion questions. Since arriving at the University, I haven’t been able to take as many humanities classes as I’d hoped (due to my major requirements), and so this book club was beyond fun for me.
For some reason, I assumed when entering SHIFT that most people wouldn’t want to participate in a book club. I was incredibly wrong. I was really surprised by the intense participation from my fellow creators — SHIFT is full of people who love learning. This month, we’re reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, and the enthusiasm from the creators is so uplifting (I would like to thank everyone who came for letting me live out my English teacher dreams).
Hopefully, the book club will continue over the summer. Book club and my columnist jobs keep me busy, but hopefully soon I can work on a few hands-on projects : build a hydroponic mini-greenhouse, or improve my Photoshop skills. There are too many things to learn, and too little time. This year, I’ve learned a lot — I’ve improved my writing and painting skills. This year of self-discovery was incredibly difficult, but I’m glad that I know a little more of who I am. With my experiences in SHIFT, I’ve become comfortable speaking up at the University.
P.S.: some thank yous are due. Thank you to SHIFT, for some good times. Thank you to Fiyah Nation (my sandbox), for always making me laugh with our in-depth discussions of 2000s Dreamworks movies. Thanks to Jessie, my mentor and friend — you made my year a whole lot better, with your eternal optimism and flannels. And thanks to Amar, our sandbox leader — your kindness was an anomaly within this bleak, difficult year, and for it, I am grateful.
I’m Meera S. Kumar, an incoming sophomore at the University of Michigan interested in urban planning. Apart from SHIFT Creator Space, I’m involved as a columnist for the Arts and Opinion sections of the Michigan Daily. Cheers!
